Communication is “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior,” (Merriam-Webster). In my work with clients, I emphasize that “Effective Communication” occurs when the intended message was sent, and that same message was received. There is a lot of brain activity that needs to happen in perfect sequence to send a message such as “good morning,” just as there is a lot of brain activity required to understand that message. In the simplest form, first, we identify the message we would like to send, then we access the symbols to be used, we organize those symbols into a sequence and add inflection and gestures and then we articulate that message. As we are sending the message, our listener is identifying the symbols that are being used, breaking down the message to be comprehended, analyzing the inflection, interpreting nonverbal language and beginning to formulate a response. All of this occurs in seconds. It’s easy to see how miscommunications occur; especially in our fast-paced, complex world full of distractions. In this post, several of these challenges will be identified as well as strategies to achieve Effective Communication.
In the old days, there were limited choices with how to communicate. We could have a face to face conversation, write a letter, make a phone call or send a fax. Today we can do any of those or we can e-mail, text, send a Slack message, Facebook Post or Message, or send an Instagram. With the faster pace of our day and current technology, we send and receive more messages throughout the day; but are we communicating effectively? It’s something to think about. An immediate response is not always the best response.
Our thoughts are not only communicated through words, but through inflection, volume, pace, and body language. While much of our interaction today is occurring on a key board, it can be difficult to express and interpret meaning when we don’t have the advantage of seeing or hearing the other person. We can rely on those cute emojis, but how professional are those really? And then there is punctuation, or lack of for some informal messages. Have you received a message with an “!” and wondered what was meant by it? Have you spent time contemplating if the sender was upset, requiring an immediate response, or were they just joking? Or how about the telegraphic text where you weren’t able to decipher the tone of the message so you weren’t sure how to respond. Do you send a clarifying message, ask a question or provide a defense? Valuable time can be lost each day trying to decipher messages and manage miscommunications.
Following are some suggestions my clients find helpful:
- Be mindful of what you are writing and speaking. Take a moment before you respond so that you can re-set your brain and communicate concisely and effectively. Your response should be clear and contain sufficient detail.
- Review your message and ask how you would feel if you received that message. If there is anything that made you feel uncomfortable or was unclear? Make changes as needed.
- Identify if there are any words or phrases that can be interpreted in different ways. Clarify your intended meaning.
- If the topic is challenging and you anticipate an issue, set up a call or videochat to avoid miscommunication. This will give you the opportunity to pick up on nonverbal cues that get lost in text and email.
- Avoid using aggressive phrases such as “You have to.” Instead, use “I” statements such as “I would appreciate your help with ___.”
- End the note giving the recipient the opportunity to ask questions. This will keep the lines of communication open and allow the recipient to feel comfortable asking for clarification and/or additional information.
If you would like to discuss how to become a more effective communicator, please contact me at doreen@thecognitivecoach.net or call me at 732-977-7381.